According to my mind, this year has more downs than ups for me. Perhaps my spirit/soul will beg to differ very strongly. LOL I did some of the things that were scary to me. And while they may or may not yielded any benefits, I know I’ve gained confidence through it. Turns out, there is nothing to be afraid of, only overthinking on minuscule stuff. Yes, I know I’ve talked about it before, and I’m still learning about the overthinking matter. In terms of speed, it’s a moderate year for me. I didn’t find it going by too fast or too slow. Just good enough for me. Is this a good sign then?
This year I continued on my self-discovery journeys. 💪 While last year, I only scratch the surface, this year I dug deeper. Such as… analyzing my trauma, how subconscious programming during my early age made me who I am today, what past experiences dictate how I behave, sensing people’s energy rather easily (the good and the bad) and absorbing ’em without knowing there is such thing initially, thus learning how to control my energy+sanity so not to be influenced by others’ energies, being mindful of what I think and therefore how I treat myself and everyone, spending less and less time with negative people, loving my own personal space more and more, treating myself better, learning not to overthinks, be a source of positive energy, wishing for peace that I eventually found is inside me and everyone of us, being more in-tune with my intuition/gut feeling, learning to meditate+mudra+breathwork for at least 5 minutes every day, learning to visualize, affirm, manifest, inspire and lastly reprogram my subconscious.
Along the way, I did a serious decluttering of my personal space. It’s some sort of shedding my old skin, things I no longer need/use/good for me, I gave it away and/or let it go. Some are emotional baggage and some are just to feed my ego. Can’t believe I kept so much stuff that suffocated me. I still have some decluttering to do but the effect of it so far has been positive.
Food continues to fascinate me. I’m still juggling between eating real food and the zero nutrition+processed stuff. I ate lots of nutrient-dense food this year, and yet I’m still fighting my addiction on the not good kind. The addiction is real! I have food addiction I agree and when I come clean, the addiction is no more. I know I sounded like a drug addict eh? The kind of addiction one have on zero nutrition+processed food are more or equally damaging than the drug. Believe me. Not long ago, someone told me I have orthorexia and I nearly believe her. I found out what I’m striving is actually normal but considered super weird to the mass because eating bread, pasta, margarine and preservatives food are normal. At the end of the day, I was able to almost break-free from my food addiction. That’s a worthy victory. I’m only able to do this because I know I have a long, healthy and lovely life ahead.
While I stopped exercising regularly especially yoga, I picked up on meditation, breathwork and cold shower. Oh yes, I love my cold shower. I even dance while in the cold. And I make sure I get my sun therapy almost every day. We are taught to fear the sun, but in actual, there is nothing to fear. Sun gives us energy and heals us. Like the mighty sun, gardening gives me the blissful and calmness feelings too. Trimming the leaves, potting the seedlings, with the hands full of earthy flavors, ahh what joy. It sharpens my sense with nature and that’s how I blast full ahead now and the future.
I mentioned I started on a new journey last year. It’s going very slow, however, I started to see some progress this year. Yay. Gotta work smart. Aja! I ain’t giving up. I can do it!