ponder

My 2021 was going by slowly at first but by the second half, it zoomed past in the blink of an eye. What?

2021 saw the continuation of the GREAT FEAR of 2020. Let’s just say that I sometimes feel like shaking one’s shoulders back and forth, back and forth while shouting “WAKE UP! WAKE UP!”. Not anymore though for I learned that it’s not my job to wake others up. It’s an inside job. I’m very glad to be living in this time and witness the greatest waking up of the human race yet. To wake up is not simply by the snap of the fingers, but it takes many dark nights and the peeling off of the many layers (programmings) that we took on through our lives.

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Woah what a year! Instead of fear, I hope everyone is vibrating in higher consciousness and emanating love. For love ❤️ is the opposite of fear. I think 2020 is quite a good year for me. Time moves in a smooth manner as in it didn’t feel too fast or too slow. Ngam-ngam!

In March, Malaysia went into lockdown together with some countries due to a contagious virus. Fast forward 9 months later, we are still restricted but with looser & ever-changing SOPs. Like everyone else, I was worried and afraid but only initially. My fear lasted for about 2-3 weeks. Once I woke up to the truth, everything changes. I tried helping by sharing on social media. Many must have thought this girl is nuts. Don’t care, I still share. You see, once you see it, you can’t unsee it and you want everyone else to see it too!

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Wah, can’t believe I’m a week late blogging about my 2019. Truth to be told, I fell ill a day after Christmas and never felt like my healthy grounded self even until today. There are lingering cough, sore throat, mouth ulcers and stomach discomfort, all which I know are detox symptoms.

Anyway, here’re how my 2019 fare…

This year flew by slowly. The slowest I’ve ever felt in recent decades. It was quite a good year.

I continued where I left off at 2018 in 2019. I dug into my inner world, find out how I operate from the programmings which I downloaded unconsciously (there were lots of fear-based living & thinking), learn to talk to my inner child, learn to listen to my gut/intuition (I’ve got it right quite a few times! It’s usually the first thought that comes up, very positive and tell you straight. If it’s fear-based, then it’s the ego), learn to listen to my body, learn about boundary and implement it, learn to think positively and practice gratefulness.

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According to my mind, this year has more downs than ups for me. Perhaps my spirit/soul will beg to differ very strongly. LOL I did some of the things that were scary to me. And while they may or may not yielded any benefits, I know I’ve gained confidence through it. Turns out, there is nothing to be afraid of, only overthinking on minuscule stuff. Yes, I know I’ve talked about it before, and I’m still learning about the overthinking matter. In terms of speed, it’s a moderate year for me. I didn’t find it going by too fast or too slow. Just good enough for me. Is this a good sign then?

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How’s my 2017?

I think it was a neutral year for me. Lots of ups, and also lots of downs. And this is what life is all about. 😏 All the hardships and fun days are priceless lessons, especially failures. This year, I spent a large bulk of my time learning who I really am, and why I am the way I am.

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